Way back a bunch of years ago, when we were all undergrads, a lot of time was spent up at RATT. Being an eclectic collection of physicist, engineering and biologist wanna-bes, it was kind of natural for us to come up with theories during our periods of inebriation. Most of these theories made perfect sense when we were developing them at the time (lots of weird things people do while drunk make sense only to them).
I bring you a number of these scientific principles resurrected from the WayBack Machine and posted here for posterity (also because Tom has taken the wiki versions of these pages down and has never put them back up).
Joe's Drunkeness Exclusion Principle
You can only know what you're doing and where you are to a finite precision.
You can know what you're doing, but you won't kow where you are
You can know where you are but you won't know what you're doing
On the rare occasion you do know where you are and what you're doing, you won't know how you got there.